I have figured out something about myself while going through this process and I'm not so happy with this discovery. What is this new revelation? To put it short and sweet, it has become very obvious to me that I am arrogant. I hate that.
Allow me to explain. I felt led to do this new kind of ministry and I gave up a traditional church to follow this fresh dream. When I left the traditional church, I also left a pretty comfortable salary and benefit package. What was waiting for me at the new work? About a quarter of my pay and no benefits. My wife, however, is working full-time and it was our prayer that she could help be the staple of our finances while the new work develops.
I also knew that I would have to take another job to help support us. I haven't done much work outside of the church since seminary but in my past I have written for local newspapers and served as a legal assistant at a large law firm in my home area. My job search began there, seeking employment in possibly those two areas, but nothing jumped out to greet me. I was promised a job before moving to Radford, actually did training and was ready to get started, but the company I was going to work for was sold - so that was a no go as well.
Eventually, I started just putting in applications and hoping for the best. One local company offered me a job , but after the interview it seemed pretty obvious that there would be very little time for ministry while working there. Finally I have gotten an offer of a job and I have accepted it, but I had a hard time doing so. It is not in an office setting. I will not be pushing paper or working on a laptop computer. Instead, I will be working for a fast food establishment. While it is a more "upscale" place to eat, it is still a fast food place. I must admit that I have had a difficult time grasping the reality that at 41 I am working fast food in order to support my family. I thought that the older you get, the better off you should be, at least in the work area.
I don't think that I see myself as being better than working such a position, but I have surely had a hard time accepting this transition. Honestly, looking at the situation from a purely Biblical view, it is a blessing to have the opportunity to work and support my family - period. The ability to work and the opportunity to work are both great gifts from God. Who am I, merely one of His creations, to say that I am better than any form of work? I know that I am not and I am eager to model His light and love in this new workplace.
Since this is the week that we normally set aside to say thanks, I want to say a special thank you to the One who made me. Thank you, my God, for the opportunity that I have to live this blessed life with my unbelievable family and to minister to the special people you have called me to serve and love. Heavenly Father, help me to get over myself and focus on the bigger picture while trusting that You know above all others what is best and right for me. Likewise, help me to put aside any pride or arrogance that I falsely carry around and help me to understand that above all else I am Yours and that is what truly matters.
As you meet around the table this week, I challenge you to be evermore thankful than full of pride. If you can do that, the meal will taste better and your life will better reflect the One who loves you the most.
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